Why is it that I spend all this time and energy to keep a well stocked home when I am forever out of some basic necessity for myself? I’m a fan of buying in bulk, sometimes to the extreme. If I can stockpile toilet paper because of a good sale, trust, I’m gonna. Half way through your industrial size shower gel hubby? I better grab some now before you run out in six months. Only 75 diapers left? Better grab two more boxes at Costco since Huggies are on sale this month. Two boxes left of your favorite snack? Don’t worry, I’m headed to the store.
When it comes to me, I am always out of something. Just today it was a necessity that I buy two things because I was literally out. Two things that are so important to me that I should never be completely out of. Deodorant because the good Lord knows I’ve had to wear it since I was three. And God forbid I forget pads, because at 24 weeks pregnant I’m liable to pee on myself at any moment. As important as it is for me not to smell and to have some protection from occasional urine, I still forget about myself. Isn’t that what we do as moms, forget about ourselves and constantly come in last? If I can’t remember these little necessities, how I am supposed to remember to take better care of myself?
It’s too easy to justify doing things for our spouse and children. They need it. They want it. They deserve it. These are things I tell myself when buying or planning for my family. I should be putting this thought process to work for myself as well…and not just when I step in Sephora. Let’s be real, I may be out of deodorant but rest assured I have four tubes of lipstick in my purse. Sephora aside, it’s the little things I overlook for myself and I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think making Mom a priority is one of the challenges we face on a daily basis. The struggle I face is between taking care of myself and feeling selfish by covering more than just my basic needs. I’m on the cusp of being outnumbered by my children, I need to get in the habit of caring for myself now before I get lost in the mix.
As a general rule, I shy away from making proclamations or resolutions; however there are some things I plan on doing differently from here on out. I will buy socks when I need them and replace all the underwear from my last pregnancy that I’ve been sporting for the past two years. I will get my hair cut more than once this year, seriously. I will get a manicure to remind myself that my hands can, indeed, not be so gross. I will be getting a pedicure once the weather is warm and maintaining that throughout the season. I mean seriously, sandal weather is six months out of the year where I live. I may be big and pregnant but I refuse to have ugly feet. These things may seem unnecessary or selfish to some but I don’t care. These are things I will make a priority for myself. I can’t promise I won’t forget deodorant in the future but I can promise to make the effort to care for myself just like I do for my family.
Instead of just asking “How can I be a better wife?” or “How can I be a better mom?” I plan on asking “How can I be my best self?” I hope anyone that reads this does too.
This isn’t an ad, but seriously, thank you Costco for all you do for me and my family. Also, I love your samples.
Nap time. Such a wonderful thing that cannot, in my opinion, have it’s importance overstated. I plan my days around nap time because being “that parent” has made our lives easier, happier even. If only for an hour each day, my time is in fact, my time and it’s a beautiful thing.
This special time of day is when I can do a variety of things that otherwise may prove difficult or impossible, with a little “helper.” Some days it’s power cleaning. The amount of work I can get done with sheer determination and without interruption always impresses me. Other days it’s partaking in my true guilty pleasure, The Real Housewives (I celebrate the whole collection) while eating snacks I don’t want to share. On special days when the stars align, I curl up on my big comfy couch and nap like it’s my job. My point is, I need nap time, my toddler needs nap time, and dammit the world deserves nap time.
Just as my toddler needs nap time to recharge, I’ve found that I need social interaction to do the same. I relish the opportunities to get together together with friends or hang with family. Some days it’s hard to convince myself to get out of the house but I’m so glad I do every time. It’s too easy for me to stay home and only interact with my husband and daughter but when I take the time and get together with a friend, I feel like a new person.
Today on this rainy Monday afternoon, I met a friend and her little guy at Chick-fil-A for some lunch and play. For two hours we sat and caught up on life as well as comparing different mom stories while our children soaked up some playtime. It’s so comforting to hear “my kid does that too.” It’s a wonderful thing to share in the joys of parenthood and to know I’m not alone in my fears and concerns.
I considered it a personal best when my daughter refrained from muttering “oh shit” while playing with her friend. Instead she was on her game today with saying thank you. I think after a nap, some lunch, and time with a friend left us both feeling like a new person with better manners. So while I’m probably not out of the woods on our “Oh shit” phase, today was just what the both of us needed.
It’s after nine on a Friday night and my main thought is “have I pooped today?” Being more than half way through my second pregnancy has me missing the days of being regular, solely in the art of bathroom business that is. At this stage of pregnancy I’m more likely to lament those days than the cocktails I used to enjoy on occasion. Maybe this marks a progression in maturity, but really Momma just wants to poop.
It wasn’t too many years ago that I would’ve been getting ready to head out the door or my husband and I tidying up for impromptu get together. Nowadays we savor a weekend night where we put our 18 month old daughter to bed, pop some popcorn with plenty of ranch seasoning on hand, and watch a movie or catch up on our shows. I love sitting with the hubs and making snarky comments over dumb things said on TV, pointing out obvious body enhancements that grace our screen, or just cutting up in general. It’s kind of our thing and it makes me tremendously happy.
l think every couple has little things that they do that balances life out and brings it back to just being them and not Mom or Dad. For me it’s always been that one on one time that we get together, without the phones, without the distractions but always with the laughter. I read an article that spoke on the importance of keeping your relationship thriving with your spouse, where it’s not solely based on being parents but the bond you have together because one day, hopefully, your children will move out and have their own lives. Right now with an energetic toddler and a baby on the way it’s a delicate balance that I’m still learning but it’s something that’s important to me and important to us. With my husband’s busy schedule it may just be one weekend night at home cuddled up on the sofa or the times we go old school and break out Mario 3. On the extreme rare occasion we get a sitter and go to dinner. Whatever it may be, it will be just the two of us and I will love every minute of it.
So as I sit here tonight, while hubs is at work and baby asleep in bed, I have all the time in the world to ponder where the road may take my little family… but really it just comes back to the important questions like “have I pooped today?”